May 2012
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I went to a doctor, and all he did is suck blood from my neck. Don’t go...
– Mitch Hedberg
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I’ve always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is...
– Emo Philips
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I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
– Mitch Hedberg
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When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve...
– -Emo Philips
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