lol ↘↖
(Source: gifmovie, via vivalachong)
I went to a doctor, and all he did is suck blood from my neck. Don’t go see Dr. Acula.
— Mitch Hedberg
I’ve always thought the best way to teach a kid not to be scared of the dark is to fill his daylight hours with as much horror as possible.
— Emo Philips
I can’t tell you how grateful I am that He’s not making duck lips.
(Source: blowjob-from-hell, via annielollipop)
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
— Mitch Hedberg
Oh sweet! A signed copy!
(via smuckk)
